New York (Day 50) "Happy Birthday To Me"

I woke up with about the same attitude I went to bed with, exhausted, depressed, scared, anxious. I called my woman to get a little pick me up, her voice has been a comfort lately and she has been someone I feel comfortable crying in front of on a consistent basis since mom died, and started my birthday. I remember thinking about all the things Mom used to do for my birthday. Potato pancakes just because I asked, using my dog to wake me up when I was little, singing happy birthday, I miss hearing that song from her.

I had to get out before I went back to work so I went to Times Square. I went there for three reasons, one, I really wanted a dollar pizza from two bros, two, I really wanted to feel that intense buzz of energy you can only get from standing in a crowd of thousands of people and three I missed the people I worked with there.

I stepped out of the metro station and got tingles from the energy. I ate my pizza with the reverence of a monk savoring every small bite, and I hung out with James from Pandora for a little while. It was a needed trip and I'm looking forward to seeing the other folks I work with there.

Than it was off to the Nightmare house. I walked in to find a huge welcome back card, hand made, signed by the cast, it was heartfelt, hilarious and it truly moved me. I didn't realize that the people at that house really even connected me in there minds as something other than a coworker they really liked. I now feel like I was hoping to feel, that I have, and am building, a second family here.

This was my first long night at the nightmare house but I got back into the swing of it almost instantly. It was grueling, and at times painful, and draining and I loved it. I'm so happy to be back.

I also am so glad to be apart of this House, I sometimes forget what a big deal this house is. Last night I was interviewed by HBO about the house, I just found out the house is nominated for the best haunted house in the country by MTV, the house is going to be on MTV for some show, and its frequented by Neil Patrick Harris, Vincent Denafrio, Tyra Banks apparently, and thousands upon thousands of New Yorkers. Saturday 2100 people came through the house.

And I am apart of that. I looked up at our wall of press and there is a page in Time Out Magazine that is a picture of me with reviews printed on top of it. How did I stumble on this thing?

I went out for drinks with the cast after and went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I think I'll take today to enjoy some of the city I've been missing. Yesterday was a good day I really hope that trend continues.

I love you all

KH-