The last you heard from me I had just packed my entire life up again and was getting ready to leave my very first New York apartment. I don't know if I suck at packing or if I have accumulated more crap than I realize but I used to be able to fit everything into a duffle bag and back pack. I was forced to add a garbage bag to the mix.
I woke up, packed up my blanket and got ready for operation smash and grab. The goal is to get out of the apartment unnoticed and vanish like a dead beat ghost. These people don't know my last name, I only paid in cash and they have been less than hospitable since I came back from Illinois so I don't have much guilt or paranoia regarding this move.
It was a site watching a six foot four inch three hundred and fifty pound man with a hundred pounds of luggage try and "sneak" out a closet sized bedroom. Fortunately the only person in the apartment was half asleep anyway. I lug my life to the C train and transfer to the B at 145th street. This was a mistake because 145th street is way uptown Manhattan and my destination was Brooklyn and this is a local train. I could have cut the time in half had I taken the A all the way down to the Lower West Side and THAN transfered but I'm an idiot.
But if I did that I wouldn't have gotten to see the college aged girl talking to herself on the train. She wasn't homeless as far as I could tell. She was nicely dressed, looked fairly hip and way too happy for a Monday morning. I am just assuming that whatever her destination it was too exciting to keep the thoughts in her head...it kind of freaked me out.
With the help of a very kind man I met on the street I was able to carry my stuff to my friends apartment. I settle in and Dawn and Amanda cook pasta and cookies and make mint martinis. It was a fantastic time and I am so lucky I have these two as friends, they are life savers.
I have a very strong feeling of serendipity with this situation. I feel the time I spend with these two will give way to some personal growth for all of us. Even if it doesn't I know I will be getting closer to two people I respect very much.
I also got to see my first New York snow.
Today I didn't do a whole lot but reflect on things that have happened and things that might happen. I'm looking forward to my future again and with mom not being here to see this I feel a renewed sense of responsibility to truly and earnestly seek out my dreams.
She told me not to give up, when I was at the end of my rope here she told me to stick it out and so that's what I'm doing.
My boss being the insanely generous man he is agreed to pay for half my plane ticket as long as I paid him back with my sales this weekend so that trip is a go. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends and my family and mainly my woman.
I am happy that I get to do the holidays on my terms like I wanted. I'm trying to give myself a break from holidays...I'll face tradition next year when the wound of my mom's death is a bit more stale. Now, however, I'm going to see my family individually without being faced with all the memories all at once.
Christmas will still be hard but I feel I've made it a bit easier on myself.
I'm also brimming with anticipation to see my woman. We never get enough time with each other but every moment we do have is treasured.
That's all I got for you guys today. See you all next week.
I love you all
KH-
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