What?....WHAT?...it’s only been 4 days since I last posted? Unbelievable. After this last four days I feel like I’ve been here for months. Well I guess I should get to telling you what’s been going on.
Thursday it was a whole lot of nothing with a healthy dose of fear and worry thrown in I sat and I freaked out about my living situation and it didn’t help that it was my day off so I had nothing else to do that day. I did however have some nice bonding time and pizza with the roomie. I still felt the pressure though because I had a possible place to live I just couldn’t move in for a few days.
Friday was more of the same, although at the end of this day my living situation became a bit more complicated. For reasons that are too complicated to go into it became clear that the best thing for everyone was if I stayed with Lindsay till I could get into my new place which I still hadn’t seen.
Saturday seems to run all the way into today. I go to work and at the tail end my boss has a guy who lives in the place he wants to show me take me to Jersey to check out the “apartment”. It is an absolute shit hole. It’s a bedroom smaller than the one I had growing up with a communal bathroom and kitchen and it’s filled with drug addicts. At first I was fairly discouraged but than I realized a few things.
First, I don’t have to make this a long term situation. I am making enough money were, especially when I get a second Job, i can move out in 2,3 months tops. the only reason I’m not living in an apartment that is only a couple hundred more in Brooklyn is I didn’t have the deposit. I save up and I move as soon as I can simple as that.
Second I lived around drug addicts before it isn’t a problem for me. I can consider this my starving artist punk rock days. I can look back and say “hey remember that shit hole I lived in when I first moved to New York? Crazy huh?” After looking at the apartment It was time to go to a secret warehouse party I heard about through lindsay.
I find my way to the train that takes me to the area where the party is. If Brooklyn had a middle of nowhere this would be it. I walk to the street the warehouse is supposed to be on through a neighborhood were I’m fairly certain that the only reason my color didn’t get my ass kicked is because of my size.
I follow the groups of people walking past a chain link fence to the back of a warehouse. I walk through a gravel parking lot and when I turn the corner of the first warehouse I see that tucked far in the back, behind a block of warehouses is an old train service station. The dilapidated train tracks still leading to this place. Red lights are shining from this place and an arch of balloons overhang the massive entrance.
I stand in the line to get in and people watch all the people who came dressed up. The theme was Japanese Imperialism...or something like that. I am so excited by the time I get to the door I can barely contain myself. I have never been to anything like this before and the fact that a perfectly reasonable ice breaker for this thing is “how did you hear about this thing?” made the entire event that much more exciting.
I walk and I am overcome by how unique it all is. It was essentially an art exhibition with a rave going on in the middle and a bar off to the side. There was a booth where you could confess your sexual sins and they would “punish” you accordingly (meaning they hit you with sex toys while your friends take pictures and laugh). There was a booth for “Rape-O the clown” where you could pay 25 cents and get insulted. there was an entire area where they had laid down astro turf and covered in in rose petals for people to lay down and play in.
There were booths designed to befuddle your senses and even a small hookah lounge area. I visited most of these areas a few times, it was pretty incredible. I was surrounded by people and music. The music was some pretty intense trance techno, not some shitty house music but real techno that made your chest beat and forced your body to move. And of course I was greeted every now and again by a heavy waft of pot smoke.
I took it all in and enjoyed the site of party goes making out in the rose petals and the dance floor...from what I understand my friend Lindsay got to see a lot more than that when she walked past an alley to get to the party.
It was the biggest display of art, hedonism and self expression I had ever seen. I danced my ass off and marveled at what I saw till 6 o clock in the morning. I hopped in a car that the rest of my group came here in and we drove back to Lindsay’s and passed out.
When I woke up yesterday it was time to go to work. My things where still at Jessica’s so I headed over there to change than went to work. There I met a pretty cool band named “The Naked Apes” from Connecticut. I called my boss to see if I could give him a smaller down payment now and pay the rest on thursday for the apt he said it should be fine but I guess I will see today.
After work it was time to go back to Brooklyn. I met some more new people, ate some great food and went back to Lindsay’s, at this point I was so tired I could barely keep my head up and I was never so happy to see a bedroll and a shower. Now I a writing this on the brink. I find out today if I have a stable place to lay my head and if the answer is yes I will have mixed feelings about it. I am going to close my eyes and barrel through this next month or so just as fast as I can. I am going to hustle and scrape for this money because I really don’t want to live as far out as I am in the place that I am.
But I am keeping a good attitude about it all. This is living, these are stories to tell, these are my real nomad days. My all or nothing, young and reckless, dream catching days. I knew it would be hard and I am secretly enjoying every hardship because I know it is leading me towards greatness.
KH-
P.S I should take a moment to mention. My friends have been a constant source of help and support. I have been given food when I was hungry, a place to sleep when I had none and support when I was feeling broken. Lindsay and Jessica especially have helped me make sure I don't go hungry or have to sleep in a door Jam. And Lauren has been a daily and constant source of strength and support. She never lets me forget that I can do this and she is always checking to make sure I'm okay. She helps keep the smile on my face. Travis, and Alex are always open to me if I call they answer and are ready to tell me to man up and do what needs to be done. My poor mother is consistently rooting for me even though I know hearing about my hard times worries her out of her mind she never makes me feel guilty for leaving.
I love you all, deeply.
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