I realize it has been a while since I posted in this, as usual. I apologize once again but life is busy in the big apple, it always has been and I think it will always be. I am working on getting in shape, getting my ass kicked three days a week by my roommate and surrogate sister Amanda and watching my body totally transform. I am working on getting a movie and a short made in the fall, I am working on new job opportunities and trying to keep up some semblance of a social life. I am also rediscovering a spiritual identity.
While all of this sounds like it is incredibly hectic I have managed to find a peace in the chaos. Zen is probably the world I am looking for. Since I started the transformation of self about 5 years ago...I say started I mean was shoved into I have discovered one mantra that keeps my motors running.
In the spirit of that, in appreciation for how far I've come I wrote this bit of free form that I thought I might share with you. I hope you enjoy.
"Give Me Time."
The cloud of discontent, it’s voice is steady
When the tide rises its voice booms across
the horizon of my mind.
“You are not good enough,
You are not fit enough
You are not talented enough
You are weak.”
It forces me to find the eye of the storm
the place of hush inside
The quiet place my soul finds form
The world settles as I narrow my eyes
I find my center, my place in this world
This dark cloud can feel my will
It’s voice trembles
As I move into the still
My mantra builds inside
Like waves crashing to shore
The dark cloud knows I found it out
It knows what I know,
that I am the Master of my mind
Still it clings to desperate whispers
“You wont make it to the horizon
Give up now
It is too far down
The shore runs from you
You are the lost son”
It’s conviction is laughable now
It knows what is coming
In a moment the world stops
My lips set to release me from the storm
It knows this domain is Mine
When I claim the domain of my mind
And say with steady breath
“Give me time.”
