Happy New Year and good luck to you on the goals you have resolved yourself to accomplishing. Last year I was ringing in the New Year at a rave and the state of my life was that of constant volatility. I was consistently teetering on the edge of financial destitution and I was entertaining a number of less than healthy and dramatically unproductive attachments.
Keeping that in mind it seems almost prophetic that I spent the beginning of 2011 with the people who would eventually help me in achieving every goal I had set, and some goals I was yet to set for 2011. I could smell it in the air when the year started that this would be a painful but productive year and now look at me.
In 365 days I managed to destroy and reconstruct my entire life, again, and arrange it in a way that looks as if it may just be sustainable long term. Which leaves me with the obvious question that hangs over every January 1st, “what next?” What goals have I set where do I foresee my life going in the next 365 days?
Practically and vocationally I am going to be making a short and hopefully a feature before the year is over and I plan on finishing up a couple books I had started writing years ago as well as starting a couple more. I am excited about those prospects but what is truly important is how I plan on approaching my journey now that I have managed to, god help me, get used to the struggle and even manage it.
I said in a recent status update that my resolution was to make a lot of terrible decisions seamlessly and without incident. What I really mean by that is that I am not going to preoccupy myself with the survival. I have survival down and where sacrifices need to be made to keep that rolling I will make them but in the struggle of 2011 I have not been carnivorously and ferociously hunting down life to poach it’s marrow from every imaginable hiding place.
I plan on seeking out every experience worth having both in the cathedrals of the “common place” and the forbidden woods of the taboo. I am dedicating myself to the adventure and the journey and in doing so will recapture the inspiration that has been lacking recently due to exhaustion.
Life has spent a great deal of time fighting me against the ropes and I had felt a waning in my passion, I had sweat out all my piss and vinegar. Fortunately for me the last 6 months or so have been a time of recovery and heeling and I appear to have gotten my second wind.
The short version? To make Thoreau ashamed of how passively he pursued life and to search out experience like a blood hound so that I may be able to revel in the telling of it, in the reliving of my exploits through prose, poetry, film and any forum that I can get my greedy hands on.
The beginning of my story has ended, its time for the juicy parts now.
I love you all
KH-
